PG: Psycho Goreman (2020)
a review by Saralyn Fumiko
PG: Psycho Goreman, a film with an 80’s vibe released in 2020 that has it all: a child who gives zero f*cks, her pushover brother, and resentful parents brought together by alien templars in their attempt to eliminate the Archduke of Nightmares. Oh, and we can’t forget about all the cheesy montages and of course, Crazy Ball, the homemade backyard game that starts it all.
After Mimi, our main character who is a bossy pre-teen girl, wins a game of Crazy Ball against her brother Luke, they happen across a glowing gem while Luke is digging his own grave. (Also, quick shoutout to Luke’s mad digging skills – call him should you ever need to bury a body quickly, or perhaps want to install a swimming pool in your backyard and aren’t against child labor.) The children are then called in to bed and ask their parents if monsters are real. We get a real taste of Mimi’s personality when she asks her parents to make sure any monsters kill her brother first.
Little did they know, the removal of the glowing gem from Luke’s grave would resurrect an alien beast from the planet Gigax, who later introduces himself as The Archduke of Nightmares. Mr. Nightmares climbs out of Luke’s not-so-shallow grave and wanders out of their backyard, through the woods, and into an abandoned shoe factory where he promptly rips the head off of, implodes, and petrifies three thieves who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
The next day Mimi and Luke follow the footsteps from the hole in their yard through the woods and into the shoe factory where they find the alien monster supervillain and the kids quickly realize that they can control The Archduke of Nightmares with the glowing rock/amulet in Mimi’s possession. Upon this realization, Mimi decides to rename the Archduke something more fun, more hip, more now and with a wow factor. She settles on Psycho Goreman, PG for short, and orders him to wait for her return.
Meanwhile, The Templars of the Planetary Alliance, a solid mashup of knockoff familiar creatures like the Martians from Mars Attacks and an Angelina Jolie power ranger angel bot named Pandora, somewhere in space have come together to plan how to stop PG. Pandora elects herself to travel to earth and summons a human to their command station, squishes her into a meat cube, consumes said meat cube and then takes the form of the human girl.
The siblings introduce their school friend Alastair to PG, who Mimi has a crush on. Later, Mimi brings PG home for help as she is upset that the boys play video games instead of playing basketball with her. She asks that PG make Alastair want to play basketball with her forever, and he warns that his dark magic can go wrong sometimes and proceeds to follow his orders and turns Alastair into a giant brain with googly eyes and arms. While Luke and Mimi’s parents (Greg and Susan) are busy arguing who will clean the microwave after dad makes a wholesome family meal in it, they witness Alastairs transformation and reluctantly accept PG into their family.
The children, including giant brain and PG, are trying to play Crazy Ball when two police officers arrive. One escapes, and the other is seemingly turned inside-out with his gun still in hand by PG. They start walking through the woods like most normal kids and aliens do and are greeted by a group of different alien species called the Paladins from Gigax where PG once ruled. A fight scene ensues that ultimately PG reins triumphant, but not without injury, after receiving permission from Mimi to fight back that is. A gravely injured PG comes to Greg in a vision while Greg is on the porcelain throne summoning him to come get him and the children from the woods in a hilarious scene. Greg obeys and returns home with the group where they find Pandora and Susan waiting for them. Susan wants to wash her hands of all of it, while Greg appeases his daughter and drives to the old, abandoned shoe factory with Mimi and PG.
Pandora and a now armored warrior Susan arrive to the shoe factory where another fight scene breaks out. PG convinces Mimi to give him the amulet, claiming that is the only way he will heal. She agrees after he promises not to hurt her or her family, and then realizes that Luke had stolen it from her. Luke and Mimi fight over the amulet while Susan and Greg fight over their marriage while PG fights for his life.
It is decided that Mimi can choose the battle in accordance with the Templar Code, and of course, she chooses to settle their differences in a wholesome match of Crazy Ball. After Mimi wins (again) Pandora attacks her, and Susan’s motherly instincts kick in as she comes to Mimi’s rescue. Pandora tells Susan that she is not worthy and reverts her back to her human form. Then, like most families who have just reconciled, they break into song and the gem is returned to PG who heals and gives Pandora an honorable death by unhinging his jaw and eating her whole.
A now gentle and kindhearted PG who is softened by witnessing the love of a family returns the amulet to Mimi and promises not to hurt them as he bids them farewell and continues on to fulfill his goal of destroying the galaxy, starting with their town. In a post credit scene, we see Alastairs parents calling him for dinner and he takes his seat at the dinner table as a giant brain, going unnoticed by his parents.