Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS (1975)

a review by Evan Landon

Welp. It was bound to happen.

I mean, probably not Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS, but a great grindhouse flick from the 70's. A friend of mine actually told me that I needed to see this movie. Am I mad at this person? Yes, but not for seeing this movie. It was for the 3 drinks I bought his date three or four years ago. Now...

Q: How do I describe this movie without mentioning the title? This is gonna be a fun game, but okay. Let's play!

The eponymous “Ilsa” is a high-ranking SS officer in the Nazi army. She is running experiments to examine how females are better at absorbing pain than men in order to make the ultimate super soldier. However, her whole thing is this insatiable desire to be pleased sexually. That's everyone, though, am I right?! Well, Ilsa is not one to grow too fond of anyone who does not please her. In fact, in the first 5 minutes, she cuts a dude's nuts off because he couldn’t.

After this, there are more terrible things that happen to the people in this movie, but saying more about it might spoil it. There is one scene with a coal they put in a bad place with nipple clamps attached. I think you get the picture. The writer, John C.W. Saxton, also went by the name Jonah Royston when he was doing work for some ABC family movies. Some of his work has been ciphered between his names for credit or anonymity, but we know where his true talents lie: softcore porn with a dash of difficult to watch (yet comical) b-movie horror scenes. Throw in some questionable themes and you got yourself a grindhouse classic, baby!

Also, do not watch this movie if you are squeamish with nudity, sex, torture, etc… This was made in a time to get the drive-in theaters back on top and these Canadians made a huge deal out of it because the Foundation for Thematic Arts was non-taxable. Kind of like churches, but like a million times cooler because they don’t hide what they are… ehhh enough politics. These movies need to be talked about for obvious reasons.

All the same, Dyanna Thorne was a big deal in the 70's and needs to be recognized. She passed away earlier this year 2020 at the age of 83 from pancreatic cancer, but her legacy carries on in all of her drive-in movies that would delight audiences across the globe.

Listen, you may not love these grindhouse movies from nearly 50 years ago (this one was 1974), but the drive-in will never die!

2 out of 5