Fire Island (2023)

 

a review by Evan Landon

I know what you might be thinking; why would Evan review a gay romantic comedy based on Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice from last year starring Margaret Cho for his latest review? Wouldn't he rather pick a gay, obscure, B-horror film from this year instead? Well, you are in luck because both of those statements are correct... Sort of.

Fire Island is a movie by the same name that came out this year to little or no fanfare or advertising which means almost nobody knows it exists. Hell, I don't even know how I found it, yet here we are.

The plot is a relatively simple one; a gay man goes with a straight and lesbian couple to Fire Island (well known for its gay and lesbian villages) to get his mind off an ex-boyfriend who killed himself during the COVID crisis a few years before. The only catch is that there is a killer on the loose who may or may not have been responsible for the slayings years earlier. YIKES!

Those sound like some pretty good plot points with a lot of promise, right?!

The problem is that instead of spending extra time on the character development, or why any of these characters are worth even giving a shit about, the movie spends its time trying to build tension around a killer who is also not very well fleshed out amidst all the partying and sex that serves to shock more than warrant any danger. The mood shifts so abnormally, you easily forget what kind of movie you are even watching. The death scenes aren't even that memorable (aside from maybe one) and the twist at the end seems very lazy and not at all interesting. But there sure is a lot of fucking! Geez.

The finer points are the acting and the cinematography that you can tell is definitely where this movie’s money was spent. The sound is fine, aside from some editing, and the song the main character plays is fine if you are into that kind of music. It is great to see representation from the LGBTQ community and the plot is definitely interesting enough to attempt, so that isn't at all the problem here. You can have everything look great on paper, but if the story is so flimsy that it disintegrates before your eyes and the characters aren't even strong enough to like or dislike, the movie is going to suck in its execution every time.

I had to look up if this was a Blumhouse movie (it wasn't), but maybe if it was in better hands, it would have been great. Maybe it will get their attention though, so maybe it isn't a total loss. We’ll have to wait and see.

1 out of 5

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Silent Night (2023)

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Bringing Out The Dead (1999)